Pirates 4 Trailer: Rebooting

I am indifferent about the whole "Pirates of the Caribbean" series. The first one was an instant classic, a movie I could go back to once in a while and still enjoy it like the first time I saw it in the theaters. It was great and promising. You figure with Johnny Depp on board, Kiera Knightley, Geoffrey Rush and Orlando Bloom to support, and the man behind the camera being Gore Verbinski, that It would be an unstoppable box office force, and it was. But somewhere in that process the quality of the movies just became so ridiculously poor. The second one had great special effects but it wasn't anything memorable and the third one was just god awful. After seeing that one I said to myself, "Thats it, its over, keep it as a trilogy and dont make it any worse than its turned out to be." Well just recently Disney released a trailer for Pirates of the Caribbean 4: On Stranger Tides.

I have pretty high expectations for this movie. To me it looks like a reboot in a series of films and well if they keep deciding to make more Pirates films then I would have to say this is a good idea. For the most part the key players are back. Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow and Geoffrey Rush as Hector Barbossa but they've cut out Keira Knightley for Penelope Cruz and completely got rid of Orlando Bloom (thank god). So there will be none of that stupid love story subplot anymore.


The part that fascinates me the most about this trailer is the plot. It seems like they are on the hunt for the fountain of youth (Ponce De Leon thought it was in Florida. LOL). I think this is a great idea. There is so much folklore behind it and I cant wait to see how they elaborate on it. 


So the trailer looks promising and with the new trailer we are introduced to a new villian. Blackbeard, who is played by the ever so awesome Ian McShane. If you are looking for an archetypal bad guy they picked the best person. McShane is most known for being the foul mouthed owner of the Gem Saloon, Mr Al Swearengen, on the HBO tv series "Deadwood". The dude is known for being such a nasty villain so I am super happy to see that he's going to be in a big production movie. In my opinion the "Pirates" series always chose the right villains. Geoffrey Rush was a mean, but hilarious villain in the first, and Bill Nighy was just the guy you hated. I think having McShane as Blackbeard will suprass Nighy's, snark, almost pretentious personality of Davy Jones.


The first film gave you the idea and excitement for greater sequels. But like most trilogies or sequels they rarely match up or surpass the success of the first. Disney probably got the idea that in order to save this series they need something new and fresh to keep its appeal to the viewers and from watching the trailer it seems like they have the right idea. I hope it turns out to be good because I personally loved the idea of the series and with this "reboot" they can still save it. 

UB Bored: Space Oddity: Michael Jordan and a Loony mess

UB Bored: Space Oddity: Michael Jordan and a Loony mess: "This is a movie review for my journalism class. Since its relevant I figure why not post it up. Come on and slam and welcome to the jam!..."

Space Oddity: Michael Jordan and a Loony mess

This is a movie review for my journalism class. Since its relevant I figure why not post it up.

Come on and slam and welcome to the jam! Really..

Not all films are to be taken seriously. Warner Brothers “Space Jam” starring the great Michael Jordan is a prime example. Jordan collaborates with the Looney Tunes in a collision of realities to battle for the Tunes’ freedom in a game of basketball.

There is no plot line in the film. Essentially it is one big plot hole. Yet there is enough crappy CGI to keep viewers under the age of fourteen entertained and viewers over to angrily shake their heads; yet willingly continue to watch it.  The only real difference between the viewers and their age is that if you are younger, well it is socially acceptable to watch such a bad movie. If not, you should be condemned but something keeps you watching it.

Clearly Jordan will win the tipoff over an 11 foot ogre.

Aside from the half assed plot and the Crayola CGI, the movie has a lot to offer. It’s a pop culture smorgasbord citing the NBA and The Looney Tunes. Basketball greats Charles Barkley and Patrick Ewing make great cameos in the movie, proving that they are more than just generals on the court. Even the comedic legend Bill Murray makes a guest appearance on the court. And like all Bill Murray cameos, he makes the movie that more laughable and watchable. 

The Looney Tunes really help boost the viewer’s attention. This is what keeps us seated without question. The older audience felt young and stupid again. For an hour and a half it was ok to laugh at fart noises, slapstick humor and those signature voices. Maturity is lost in viewing this movie and it was one of those excuses for the older audience to lighten up.

Jordan and co

Although, after viewing the movie and not thinking too deeply about it. Thought comes into mind after watching it again and what the movie is really about. Sad but true, the movie is really about the NBA trying to expand its audience and making larger amounts of money than it already does. With the use of basketball’s poster boy and arguably the most famous cartoon of all time equates to an unstoppable force of commerce. Every kid was rocking the Jordan XI’s, space jam uniforms and drinking out of space jam cups. For a solid period of time, the world was Space Jammed by The NBA and Warner Brothers.  According to Roger Ebert, “It's an inspired way to use, and kid, Jordan's image while at the same time updating Bugs Bunny & Company to doing battle in the multizillion-dollar animation sweepstakes.” That is about as accurate of a statement you can read in regards towards the movie.Symbolism plays a huge role through character undertones. Several of the characters represent business and greed.  Mister Swackhammer, the main protagonist symbolizes what a corrupt businessman looks like. Thick, heavy set man with a deep rugged voice and a never-ending cigar in his mouth. Could this represent NBA commissioner David Stern or the head of Disney and Warner Brothers? You can even put MJ into this debate. Behind that Adonis build and friendly smile lies dollar signs in his eyeballs. The thought of raining money through endorsements, contracts and commercials wasn’t enough for Michael, he had to make a movie too and no matter how terrible it would be, he knew that this was business and that would make him the Rothschild of sports.

Last but not least, the poster boy is really the definition of the movie. Michael Jordan is one of the greatest athletes of all time and the greatest basketball player that ever walked on this earth. Jordan probably agreed to do this movie to bolster up his already narcissistic view on himself. Like what James Berardinelli said on his review, “This movie, which could just as easily be called The Michael Jordan Worship Show, plays like a 90-minute homage to His Airness, selling his every virtue. By the end of this picture, Jordan, whose status as a pop icon has never been in dispute, has been elevated to the level of a demi-god.” This movie boosts Jordan’s status to folklore.

Overall, being a real big movie buff I give this movie a five out of ten. The reason being is that it is cheap fun. This movie is not one worth questioning the plot holes or the means behind the characters motives. You must approach it with no brain, severe ADD and the willingness to laugh at the stupidity of it all. Get behind the five dollar CGI and the Razzie nominated acting and it wont turn out to be too terrible of an experience for you. If you are entering the movie theater thinking you are going to see some sort of epic of epic epicness, take your ticket, rip it up and eat it. Go see this movie with no expectations and you’ll leave somewhat satisfied.

The Graduate and some neat facts.

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Captain America: The Great White Hype

When I first found out that Chris Evans was cast as Steve Rogers a.k.a. Captain America I thought to myself, "Shit, the dude from Not Another Teen Movie and the Human Torch. I'm not sure if i am feeling this." I always thought that the person who would be playing Captain America would be somebody more serious and quiet type of actor. But after watching the Super Bowl teaser trailer I realized that without even hearing Evans speak and knowing his resume, that this would be the perfect choice.

I would have to say that Evans is the best choice because well, he is very American. Blonde hair, blue eyes, a million dollar smile and charisma that acting school cant teach. He is the epitome of the American man that everyone wants to be and now its his chance to show the world that he can back up his swagger portraying one of Marvel's most beloved superheroes.

Now I'm not 100 percent sure what Captain America's personality was like in the comic book, but hey, this is Hollywood and we are in the Re-Boot era which means there is lots of room for re-invention. Chris Pine had a similar task in reinventing Captain Kirk in 2009's blockbuster hit "Star Trek". He realized that he couldn't pull a Shatner off for two hours, Shatner is Shatner, that speech pattern cannot be recreated, mimiced or copied in any way shape or form. So what did Pine do? He made himself based off the old Kirk. Same arrogance, bravado and swagger. But more sarcastic and comedic. And the end result? Majority praise and recognition from Trekkies and 257 million dollars in the U.S. box office.

The movie hasn't hit theaters yet but Evans has the acting chops, the face and charm to rake in millions of dollars for Marvel and to kick start The Avengers franchise which will be MASSIVE and i mean MASSIVE if done correctly. So you have my back Chris Evans, don't let America down.

Happy Birthday JGL!

I think you know what I need!

Yesterday was the birthday of Hollywood's most promising actor of the current decade. Joseph Gordon-Levitt turned 30, but the youthful face of his says, "I will stay in my twenties forever."

In the past three years, "JGL" has dazzled the audiences with performances which you can describe as: gritty, angry, visceral, heartfelt and charming. His ability to channel emotional range in his films have gotten him mainstream recognition and in 2009 he achieved hollywood star status with the romantic comedy "500 Days of Summer".

Just wanted to show some love to my favorite actor/man-crush (No-Homo).

My open letter to Sodexo

Delicious SUNY meals that could not be finished. That should make for a wonderful garbage plate. Literally.

"Sodexo provides fresh, nutritious meals while working within the ethnic, cultural and nutritional needs of our clients. We promote local, organic and healthy ingredients grown through sustainable practices to keep our customers and our environment healthy and happy."

- Sodexo main page


Why don't we edit that?

Sodexo provides old, calorie ridden meals while working within obese, americanized needs of our stupid clients. We promote American, mass produced and heavy ingredients grown through Republican practices to keep our customers and our environment fat and depressed.

Tonight marks the day i begin my crusade against the shitty food I have to deal with everyday at UB. From now on I will be taking photographs of my food on campus and reviewing/grading them. The sad thing about Sodexo is that the food is really addicting in a bad way. Fast food on campus is a no go and to top it off they claim its healthy. In no way whatsoever is this food healthy at all. When everyone in school has the same smelling fart and shit you know you have some sort of crisis at hand.

I will do my best from this point on to review, photograph and critique every single meal I have and incorporate two rubrics. A college grade, and a home grade. When I begin I will chart a grading system on both aspects. My goal is to bring awareness towards all the students at UB. Not even UB, in fact the whole SUNY system to how shitty, yet delicious Sodexo is. This will be a fun, delicious and gut wrenching assessment that I hope everyone can laugh, yack and fart at. I speak on behalf of the University at Buffalo and the SUNY System and we would like to say, kiss our collegiate, laxative worn asses!

Sodexcock.